Experiencing God....Are You Listening?

This blog post comes with much delay.

The last several weeks have been Up and Down. Mostly down. But in the midst of all of it, He never left me. Some days though it felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And it felt as though I was completely alone in my struggle.

Chemo leaves me feeling like a shell of a human being. About the time I began to feel somewhat human, its time for another infusion. But we did get some great news! I had a PET scan done and learned that there has been significant improvement. Which is fantastic news. For some reason though, I was hesitant to rejoice in this news. Knowing how the Cancer game can go. I look great on paper. My blood work continues to look great. With the exception of one week, when it was barley below normal. But what paper doesn't show is how I feel. The scariest part is the Neurological side effects. Praying that they are only temporary. Now with that being said we were hoping that my Dr's would say its time to cut it out. But they have recommended that I continue 3 more treatments until we can get me completely in remission. I have been very resistant to this and struggled with this constantly. BUT I have come to the conclusion that this is the path that was layed for me and the path that I chose to follow. God has protected my body this far and I HAVE to believe that he will continue to do so. It is not easy to allow poison to drip into my veins knowing the effect it will have on me. However if I can see an end in sight and trust that My God will carry me through to healing, then I must carry on. I am due for my next infusion this Thursday. PLEASE pray that God will continue to place a hedge of protection around me and keep me healthy during and after these treatments.

Now for a cool God story!

Brian and I dropped Sam off for VBS and headed to the Beach to watch the Sunset Sunday night. We had been talking about my situation and hearing from God. He decided last minute to stop for gas. After we got out I noticed a beautiful dog in the back of a pick-up. He looked like a clone of our sweet boy Bruce that we just lost a few weeks ago due to Cancer. Just a beautiful creature. It took my breath away for a moment. After coming back out of the store the driver off the pick-up (a man in his late 60's early 70's ) stopped me and asked very sweetly if I had Cancer, I was wearing a scarf. I told him yes. We talked about his handsome dog and our beloved Bruce.

He then asked me what type of Cancer I had. After I told him he informed me that HE too has been battling Breast Cancer! I have heard of this but never met a man in this situation. He was the kindest most gentle man of God. We talked for a while about how the Dr's only gave him a yr and a half. That was over 6 yrs ago! We talked about the bad days and how God always carries us through. He told me to trust in God always and he will take of me. And only God knows the time for each of us. He then asked me what he could for me. If there was anything at all. And he meant it. I asked him to please pray for me. That I was struggling and had some big decisions to make. He said he would and I vowed to pray for him as well. After our conversation I stuck my hand out shake his, instead he hugged me like he had known me all my life. It was a very special moment and I will treasure it forever. I know that God was there in that moment. I believe he used that sweet man to speak to me that day. As we drove away I had chills and came close to tears. God is good and His people are good!

This just goes to show that He is EVERYWHERE! He is in everything and if we are willing to hear from Him, He does speak. We just have to be available and have open ears and an open heart to hear!